Mars Conjunct Pluto

WARNING: VERBALLY GRAPHIC BLOG AHEAD

Yesterday I wondered how I’d feel today when Mars conjuncted Pluto. My rational mind said, “Yea, planets move about, energies shift here and there, … nothing new under the sun.”  PFF!

Today, I’m in the energy, so I started the day praying to have an equal hearing from Spirit. I wanted to know what my highly evolved side had to say, and what the deeply hidden realm of the unconscious wished to contribute. Both are sacred, both have wisdom, but they only have access to each other through me. I am the middle path between the known and unknown. 

The first message came with the morning’s meditation, which was so insightful. Angels of the upper realms showed me that life is all about perspective. Take this image for example:

Depending on what shadow you’re looking at your whole life, you’d think your life was made up of triangles, or squares, or circles. You might even think yourself quite clever if you had a change of perception and suddenly could see a square for the first time after a many years thinking the whole world was triangles. You’d be extra shocked to back up and see all three shapes were just a light and shadow play around some object. Maybe you’re brain would melt a bit pondering who put that object there in the first place? Where’s that light coming from? Having no idea there was an “observer” there the whole time, watching you figure out which projection was the truth. One small truth learned from the optical game is:

~ Perspective is all shadow, illusion, projection.

~ What you see is not the “thing” itself.

What is the thing represented in the image? Your mind? Your filters? Your projections onto the 3D screen of reality? Again, the interpretation is unique to you; there’s no right or wrong.

Such is the way of the higher mind. It sees the ‘big picture’. It knows truth the everyday mind does not. The higher mind has compassion and neutrality about all life experiences.  The higher mind comforts a weary soul with the reminder that this too shall pass. You’re an avatar in the 3D game of life. Never forget, you are not the game, and yet you are. You are in training. How refined can you get?

After meditating I went inside, checked IG to see what cute animal videos were available. I enjoy starting the day with fun, giggles, a warm heart and belly laughter. Instead, I saw something entirely different. The message from my dark, unconscious arrived in the form of a frantic video, made by a screaming 16 year old female who was in full throttle panic.

Her mom, likely in a state of fear, was unable to recall her social security number after being pulled over. The alleged federal officers, representing an authority she had no protection from, proceeded to shove her to the ground, face plant her into the pavement. She was arrested, thrown in jail, and left there even after producing the required documents. 

The screams coming out of my phone alerted our dog who growled, barked, and ran into the room I was in to check on me. The protective animal instincts of my female dog were heartwarming. She laid down by my feet and I wanted to cry. To protect is the most fundamental instinct every soul has, human and non-human.

After the video experience my nervous system quaked for some while. Fires within blew up to my head, I needed to breathe deep, but couldn’t. After seeing the video the pain was visceral.  All I could hear was every cell in my body screaming, “This effing sh*t NEVER, NEVER ENDS!!!”

Ceaseless memories of abuse flooded me. As a child, my head being pounded against walls by an angry parent; my body punched and leveled by school bullies. It reached a threshold where I was bereft for a couple decades with a minimal sense of self-worth and seriously questioning why I should stay on this planet. Ultimately, however, it was anger that saved my life.

I used anger as a tool to help me step into the big world, determined to not let this kind of abuse continue. In my early 20’s I joined several animal and environmental groups in hopes I could bring abuse awareness and healing for animals and planet alike. This path helped me learn more than I probably should have, considering I had no counselors or life coaches to help me process what I had been through, and what I was now exposing myself to.

The animal rights groups would pose as employees and bring hidden cameras into places the public would never see.  Behind the scenes images of elephants being hit over and over with long metal hooks because they wouldn’t perform circus tricks correctly – they cried and pulled back, blood trickled from their beautiful craniums. Baby calves stolen from their mother, held in little crates, unable to move for the entirety of their short life so their “meat” would be tender for humans to eat. Tiny, newly hatched, male chickens being tossed, one after another, into a meat grinder because they weren’t egg producers. I could go on and on, but it would be depressing and pointless. Needless to say, I blossomed into a furious human with a deeply unhealed heart of solid gold.

We inherit our lineages’ blood lines, but also their unhealed fear, collective anger, abuse, and victimization. We also inherit their gifts, talents, and can access the Well-ancestors higher wisdom. They’ve made it to higher planes of consciousness and can be most helpful guides. I am grateful for their wisdom, as they have much strength, grace, and sense of humor.

Returning to the original inquiry: What has Mars (the ego) conjunct Pluto (the destroyer, resurrecter, phoenix energy) taught me today? That we still have much, much to heal. The state of our world is proof enough.

If you’re being honest, what is screaming in the basement of your deep unconscious that frightens you so? What do you not wish to look at or address? What is destroying you from the inside out because you can’t face what has caused so much pain, so much suffering? What gifts have you inherited, and what tools have you acquired from Spirit to stop the endless cycle of suffering within yourself?

There is no outer authority who will come heal our wounds. This will not be remedied by a legal system, a certain ethnicity, skin color, rank, religion, or firearm.

No. This problem, this healing, must be addressed authentically, honestly, and with unfathomable levels of Love and determination within each of us.

One person at a time.

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to all life. We ALL matter.

Close Encounter With Storm Spirits

12/16/25 local storm – Tuesday

I was awakened at 1:00 am, by non-stop rain. During the night an amaaaaazing wind event, lit with fierce, angry howls, and whipping rains. Profound blue flashes in clouds overhead felt eery, almost alien.

Suddenly a neighbor’s large tree fell across the street out back. Power in the neighborhood went down as a transformer roared with a sharp sound of electric discharge. After about 10 seconds everything, surprisingly, powered back up!

My nerves were jangled as memory of last summer’s rainstorm flashed to mind where, behind our house, an evergreen tree limb touched a power line. The sky crackled with a disturbing electrical ignition, the sound of a huge explosion, and momentary fire in the tree. It took over 40 minutes to get emergency responders. Thank goodness the fire went out on its own fairly quickly. Were we about to have a repeat event?

The storm was furious! Tossing trees about, spinning the rain water. I honestly thought we were on the edge of a tornado. Most people associate tornadoes with flat lands, but the pacific NW is no stranger to small tornadoes. In my lifetime I’ve heard stories of roofs being ripped off, toppled trees, and lives lost. This storm system was not even forecasted, so it was quite alarming. It also had a strong consciousness to it, if I may put it that way. The air was filled with revenge, ferociousness, and even pain of the most appalling nature.

Kitty Ji sat just outside the door, meowing at me over and over. I could feel her fear, and her warning cries for me to get out of this mess. I, however, was fixated on how utterly shooken my nerves felt, yet not wanting to abandon this storm. Surprising even myself, I begin to sing. 

The song was nothing in particular. It was shaky, scared but insistent. I just let whatever notes needed to come out of my throat rise into the fury overhead. When I felt the song complete I noticed the wind calmed down immediately. The tall trees were softly swaying. Not knowing if that was it, I took Kitty inside for her safety. 

Soon as I returned outside the storm rose again. It wasn’t leaving after all. It felt determined to rage on and on. At this point I, personally, felt the song was all I could offer. Now I needed to call in the ‘big Spirit guns’.

I evoked strength by calling in the power of Archangel Michael’s firm stance and determination of protection, and Mother Mary for a compassionate witness to all the energies, souls, and whatnot that had been pulled into the spiraling chaos, perhaps against their own will. 

My teeth were chattering, my nervous system was tilting, and I seriously didn’t want to be out there, but I also felt called to stand my ground, hold the boundary, honour Nature, but make it very clear that this sacred land was my grove, my responsibility and this storm must honour my Divine Presence as I honoured its right to show me whatever it needed to express.

The winds kept going and going, but I wouldn’t let up. Anyone else seeing me in that moment would’ve thought me crazy for staying put. In truth, all I really wanted was to run inside, huddle under the blankets warm and cozy, and wish it all away.

But years before, when all nine evergreens fell in our backyard during a powerful snow storm, the words of a wise friend, Dana O’Driscoll, came to me:

“You must bear witness to the destruction and loss. Honour the emotions you feel. You shed tears not only for yourself but also for the spirits of the land who’ve lost their homes, their friends and family. Speak to Mother Nature, and when the storm has passed, bless the elements, hold the space with prayers flags until you can rebuild the space once again.” 

As I remembered her words the winds began calming down, the trees relaxed, the angry howling winds faded away. 

I didn’t get to sleep till after 4:00 am, feeling completely drained yet vibrating with anxiety from all that happened. 

I kept replaying the scene in my mind, saying “Did I really do that? Stand up to that storm, sing a song, call in angels and Divine Mother? That’s crazy!”
But, yes. I really did do that, because that’s what we do.

Nature is hungry for communication with us. There is much to be done, to witness, to take action on, and there are many wonderful trees, waterways, starry night skies, and campfires awaiting our return. Nature did not abandon us. It is we who’ve wandered too far off and forgotten our roots.

May this experience inspire you to ignite right relationship with our beautiful, powerful, yet fragile planet in your own, beautiful, powerful fashion. 🌎

A Prayer for Souls Lost in the Afterlife

Sometimes you may find yourself awake in the early morning hours, between midnight and 3:00 am.

Perhaps you feel hungry, restless, need the restroom.

Or, perhaps you’re awake because restless, lost souls are looking for their loved ones, and they’re meandering around your space.

Maybe you appear as a beacon of light in the cold and dark, and they need help.

You may not believe the dead are hanging out in your space. You may not even believe in an afterlife.

If you do believe in life after death, maybe you think everyone automatically crosses over when they’re finished with life on Earth. Sadly, that is not always the case.

Especially if they have deep emotional attachments to the living, they died too swiftly and don’t ‘know they’re dead’, or they feel unworthy of crossing over.

Whatever the case may be, if you feel restless in the night what could it hurt to play a peaceful prayer to help you relax, and possibly help lost souls get back Home?

After searching high and low for a thorough prayer that ‘covers all the bases’, so to speak, I resolved to create my own. 
Here is the link:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9xOl3ZPLW8

Heavenly Bridge Prayer
by Regina Chanté

Great Spirit
Divine Light and Love,
Source and Creator of all life,
From the depths of my Highest heart I call upon your
Assistance to now open a Heavenly Bridge of Light.

Archangel Michael,
I call upon you to bless this sacred space with your
Powerful presence. Protect myself and this soul (these souls) in a golden sphere of anonymity, invisibility and inaudibility from any detrimental energies throughout all space, time, dimensions, known and unknown for the duration of this transition prayer, or as long as required.

Angel of Transition, I call upon you to provide a robe of warm, radiant, Golden Light to comfort and strengthen this tired spirit that will renew their heart’s light and strengthen their being.

I call in the angels and their healing song to soothe this spirit’s heavy heart, dissolve all tethers that bind you to such a low vibrational plane, making you lighter and freerer than ever before.

I call upon the Great Mother of Mercy, filled with unconditional love to remind you from whence your soul was born, and to release the weight of suffering you’ve sustained.

By the power of Divine Love Supreme,
You now cross the Heavenly Bridge, and are taken
To a sacred temple of healing and peace,
Regardless of how you died, the grace and Light of the Highest Heaven releases you of guilt, loss, revenge, contempt, rage, confusion, or feelings of unworthiness, without judgment or prejudice whatsoever,
Effective immediately.

This prayer extends in kind to any and all souls who have seen the Light of Heaven open during this prayer session and wish to cross the Heavenly Bridge back Home. Your personal Angel of Transition arrives at this time to help you cross immediately.

AA Michael will see fit to close this portal I have opened
When the last remaining soul enters the Light and the session is complete.

Thank you to the Great Spirit within us all,
To the attending angels, Archangels, Great Mother,
Well ancestors, animal spirit guides, and all other
Divine energies who have assisted us here today.
Blessings to All. So it is.

꧁⎝ 𓆩༺✧༻𓆪 ⎠꧂

I hope you find this prayer inspirational. If you have a particular faith that requires different wording, please reword it to suit your needs.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog, for listening to my offering, and may you have a splendid journey, now and in the hereafter.

Tricks, Treats, & Spirits

Honoring the dearly departed, acknowledging the ‘trickster’ and invisible realm, sharing the family bounty with those in need, reflecting upon the year that has been, and going within to rebirth one’s Spirit anew. Such is the magical realm of late October through the end of the year.

🎃👻🍬🦇💀🧡

I wanted to share a very thoughtful history of the Irish traditions that remain woven into modern day All Hallow’s Eve (Halloween), even amidst its overt commercialism. Who better to deep dive into the lore, traditions, and reasons for the ghoulish costumes, carving of pumpkins, and trick-or-treating than Capuchin Franciscan priest-friar, Brother Richard, featured in one of my fave channels, “The Modern Fairy Sightings Podcast”.


Podcast

Here’s the song from Sting mentioned in the podcast about this very act of heartfelt sharing:

Soul Cakes song

At this auspicious time of year, the traditional Soul Cakes were created by the lady of the house as an offering to young people going door to door in search of treats. In return, the children would offer prayers of peace for the souls of the resident’s family who had passed on.

If the household was well-off but did not share with their community they would be recipient of gentle “tricks” as a reminder that we all depend on each other for the community’s well-being. If children didn’t perform the tricks, a grinchy resident may instead receive visits from actual spirits of the dead, disgruntled fairies, or other beings of the ‘tween spaces who were feeling overlooked and taken advantage of.

What I find fascinating is that every ancient culture of the world honors their deceased loved ones with song, story, altars, food, drink, and dedicated time for communication. It has always been understood that “well” ancestors, be they of blood relation, spirit family, or even the spirit of place – the essence of the elements, plants, trees, and such, were all to be acknowledged, as much as one would pay their regards to dear friends.

Sadly, the practice of connecting to Nature and unseen realms has been lost to the modern, “progressive”, tech-savvy world who doesn’t believe their roots, their heritage, their planet, nor the Source of their very consciousness needs their attention. The results of which have landed humanity where it is now, particularly in the western culture. I would liken the condition to being too top heavy (cerebral) with weak foundations … the end result quite predictable.

We don’t have to wait for oppressive forces, dark spirits, and hungry ghosts to awaken our inherently compassionate hearts. Let us take this holiday’s lessons into every day of the year and witness the awesome power of love in motion.

If you’re interested in making traditional Soul Cakes, here’s a tasty recipe I found online:

Traditional Soul Cakes recipe

Traditional Soul Cakes

Vegan Soul Cakes recipe

Soul Cakes for Samhain (or All Souls’ Day)

Perhaps you have your own favorite dish, bread, dessert you’d like to share with us. Please post in the comments section below, and thank you!

You’re presence and support is deeply appreciated.
꧁⎝ 𓆩༺✧༻𓆪 ⎠꧂

Social Etiquette 101

Last week a darling hairdresser came in for massage, yet her entire energy field appeared and felt completely overwhelmed. Yes, she had muscle pains and such, but the bigger red flag was her stress levels.

Her dream, she said, was attending Esthetician School because she loved doing hair, and making people feel more beautiful inside and out. Not an inexpensive educational venture, considering the hourly wage, but she enjoyed the work, until she didn’t.

The last number of years, especially 2025, have taken their toll on her. As so many hard working souls in the service industry have said, over eight hours a day is spent on the receiving end of hearing political opinions, and listening to horror stories that she said with nervous laughter, “… they don’t even tell to their counselor or priest!”.

If you don’t believe in energy healing, that’s fine, but surely you know when you’ve been exposed to a toxic energy vampire. She had been inundated by them!
𓆩^._.^𓆪

THE REMEDIES

Another client told me that to reduce her exposure to toxic news she had to reduce her exposure to it, and that included how she handled her daughter’s communication habit. Every day her daughter would come home from college and drown her in “O.M.G!! You won’t believe this is happening …” trauma stories from around the globe that she’d just learned in media or in class.

After weeks on end of this, mom couldn’t take it anymore and finally told her daughter, “From now on, when you get home from school, you have two disaster stories – just two – that I’ll listen and respond to, so choose wisely.” And it worked!
Her daughter chilled on the trauma-drama focus.

How genius is that?

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

To be honest I have a very snarky, funny side (thanks dad) and occasionally would love nothing more than to blurt out a completely useless reply to constant complainers.

Here’s a few choice ones I found online, courtesy of journalist, Shaleen Ashish.

“Your problems sound very first-world from here.”
“Have you considered switching to decaf pessimism?”
“I’m not a therapist, but I’ll listen for $200 an hour.”
“That’s fascinating. Tell someone who asked.”
“Is complaining your hobby or your profession?”
“The complaint department is currently closed for mental health reasons.”
“My subscription to your problems expired yesterday.”
“I’d join your pity party, but I forgot to bring a gift.”
“Some people see the glass half empty. You see it shattered on the floor.”

Of course, those are fun to read, but not likely to be used in real-life context if I want to stay in business and maintain relations! LOL!

ON THE BEAUTY SIDE

What is the “Beauty Side”? That place one goes to recharge their batteries, dissolve the sludge, hit the reset button, and feel anew.

It doesn’t happen on its own, and most people aren’t aware enough to share the Beauty Side with their fellow human, so you gotta prepare your toolbox ahead of time.

BEAUTY SIDE TOOLBOX

If you’re out and about at work, in the public domain, here’s a few tips:

Write a list of warm-fuzzy memories that take you into a happy zone: Snuggling with your pet, eating a delectable meal, watching a sunrise, a funny joke. Keep this list on hand, refer to it, add to it, read it as often as needed.

Take a walk outside and stand close to a tree, put your nose in a flower, take photos of beautiful plants, clouds, anything that calls to you. Keep a running photo journal in your phone for quick reference when you need a break from the ugliness.

Compliment someone who wouldn’t expect it, and mean it from the heart. Could be a co-worker, could be a stranger. The way their face lights up is worth its weight in gold.

Make a secret text code and share it with anyone you trust. Tell them when they receive that code it means you’re having a 💩 day (or moment) and need a quick fix joke, happy love message, or whatever can lighten the mood. Do the same for them.

Say a prayer to someone in need. Sounds hokey perhaps, but taking the “woe is me” energy away from yourself and coming up with loving words and thoughts to send a loved one, a stranger, the person who just got whisked off by ambulance, the drivers stuck in traffic, the Earth, whatever calls you, can actually lighten your load. Guaranteed someone has been praying for you, whether they’re still in the physical or not.

꧁⎝ 𓆩༺✧༻𓆪 ⎠꧂

What other fun, creative, unique ways can you add to the Beauty Side toolbox? Let me know in the comments section below.

Thanks for taking time to visit this website and reading my blog.
I think you’re splendiferous!
⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

splendiferous

[splen-dif-er-uhs]
adjective
splendid; magnificent; fine.



Image credit: Word Vomit by NeverlandSolar on DeviantArt

🌙 🧦 Dream Socks 🌿 🧚‍♀️

Sometimes you end up with one sock! Maybe your sweet little puppy ran off with your fresh laundry and left a half-eaten sock out on the lawn (yes, that happened). Or, maybe you wore your fave socks to the point a hole started in one. Waaaahhh! What to do?

Don’t throw them out (except the one that’s half-eaten … that can go away). With the remaining sock, consider making a ‘Dream Sock‘. You’ve heard of a ‘Dream Pillow’? Same idea.

Basically, you take the remaining clean sock, and stuff it with your favorite herbs, dream-enhancing crystals, stones, seeds, or what have you. Sew it up tight, and rest it neatly beside you on the pillow while you sleep. Or, you can place it inside the pillow case so it doesn’t roll off the bed.

*Make sure you only put dried herbs in the sock (no fresh ones), and that you and whomever rests with you is not allergic to the dried herbs. Also make sure your pet or young child doesn’t get hold of it in case the herbs you use are toxic or allergenic to them.

Here’s the collection I used in tonight’s dream sock creation:
1/2 – 1 cup mugwort (Artemesia)
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon chamomile
1 teaspoon thyme
2 star anise
1 small amber

Properties:
mugwort / Artemesia – assists with lucid dreaming
bay leaf – supports pleasant dreams
chamomile – for restful sleep
thyme – eases depression, improves breathing
star anise – prevents nightmares
amber (fossilized) – promotes dreams, clarifies and releases unresolved issues, helps one see into the past, dispels detrimental energy.

Give it a try! If you make one, please comment below and share with us which herbs and stones, or other ingredients you chose and why. Love to hear about it.
May your dreams be insightful, bouyant, and fulfilling!

Book reading 1

The Wound Makes the Medicine, Author: Pixie Lighthorse
Finding Safety, read by Regina Chante´

Many folks are seeking peaceful refuge these days. It came to me that perhaps reading from a loving, supportive book, one chapter at a time, might prove a soothing balm for souls in need.

Tonight I’ve begun recording myself reading from Pixie Lighthorse’s book, “The Wound Makes the Medicine,” starting with the chapter titled, “Finding Safety”.

I will produce audio recordings as time avails itself ………

Sit back, cozy up, and enjoy ……… ☕

Video link:
https://youtu.be/lIBAKJbB0BA

Image credit: Regina Chanté

A Life Well Lived

I often put myself in my adult kids’ shoes, who are experiencing similar situations to when I was in my 20’s, and thinking, “How can one make a living, still enjoy their abode, stay creative, and feel like life has a quality feeling, all while still being able to pay bills?”

In my first decade after leaving my mother’s home I thought playing music would be the answer. Work at night, sleep in, enjoy my lovely little apartment and companionship of pets. Little did I know that in order to maintain a steady income I would have to be on the road full-time, traveling across many states, figuring out who I trusted enough to pet-sit my fur babies, never seeing my apartment, paying for car repairs, band equipment repairs, and all the while gigs weren’t paying us more for traveling across state lines. We also had no health insurance, no bonuses, no paid vacations – it was do or die.

I see similarities in the current economy. Young people in service industries working 60+ hours a week to afford the ever-rising costs of utilities, food, rent. Heaven forbid they took out student loans. If they didn’t get vocational education there is no time left in their days now to get an education. The cost of living continues to spiral out of control, leaving people in depression, poor health, leaning into substances to ease their suffering, and caught in the vicious cycle of addiction.

Over the years, as the individual breaks down they’re eventually prescribed terrifically expensive pharma meds with loads of harmful side effects. This leads to more pharma meds to offset the effects of the first meds. Eventually invasive surgeries are recommended. All the while no one talking to them about how to repair and restore the body/mind.

The health of the individual keeps the family & community strong, which strengthens each state, and collectively creates a strong backbone to support a nation. Our country is losing its integrity and vitality because it cannot collectively agree on how to support its foundation, which is the collective individuals – the cells of this country’s body. Outside of empty promises, no one in political office seems interested in putting caps on rising costs of living. They’re too busy sleeping with the lobbyists.

We have friends from Europe who told us their country pays each person $1000 per month living wages, outside of their work income. How the individual spends it is entirely on them. I noticed a comment made my one of my kids who said that more money was made through unemployment in 2020 than in all the jobs they’ve ever worked. That speaks directly to why no one feels they should work 60+ hours a week to afford living. They’ve tasted what it was like to relax and receive money, if only for a short while.

Is the European model superior? I’m not certain of that. We’re already doing something similar, as it is. If an individual works part-time they’re eligible for food stamps and Oregon Health Plan, all of which is paid by us taxpayers anyway, so to me it’s the same diff. Give money to people as a monthly stipend, or give it in the form of food and health services. The most important end goal is to turn tax dollars into support for each individual to retrieve their health and maintain quality of life.

It is true we are not put on this Earth to work, pay taxes, then die. We are beautiful, sacred beings with so so much to offer each other and this planet. We deserve to have time for rest, proper nutrition, a feeling of safety, a purpose in life that nourishes the mind, heart and body so we can be intelligent stewards of this amazing planet, and vital support networks for the vulnerable in our society.

That’s my thoughts on this matter. I welcome your input.

Art: The oil painting featured at the opening of this blog was made a very long time ago by my maternal grandmother, Evelyn. She never saw Oregon, only the arid, flat deserts of Texas. I think she painted this from a postcard, dreaming of a land with trees. I feel very blessed to be living in the lands my maternal ancestors could only dream about.


❤🌷❤

If you’re enjoying this blog and would like to make a Venmo gift donation: @Regina-Chante


🌠 The Child Who Remembers Herself

Perhaps it is the destiny of the first-born child to live their life in reverse, to be an adult while physically a child, then become the child while adulting. Through years of trying to keep up with an ever-changing, fast-paced world my deeply buried child dreamt continually of magic and wondrous realms of creative imaginings. Her adult body, however, has required endless hours for mental, emotional, and physical rest and reset, for having to become an adult too soon.

On the bright side, delightful memories of childhood summer afternoons have kept my spirit alive and well. Being with the daisies and telling them how my day was going, trekking the field out back like a stealthy feline, playing gently with garter snakes then returning them to their home. I imagined many treasures buried in those tall grasses that I would someday unearth. Our family cats were my confidants, and the trees my steadfast friends. Stars would lull me to sleep at night, while the sun and moon followed me everywhere like faithful pets. Nature became my true mother / father, my source of inspiration and reprieve.

What a harsh twist to return time and again to the human world of unpredictability, violence, and neglect, intermixed with moments of tender appreciation. Humans were strange creatures to me that I admired but could not trust.

On one minute, off the next, there for me, then gone. Lovely and supportive ones I cherished, like the lovely, blue-eyed, second grade teacher who let me sit at her side at lunchtime. There I felt safe. I told her she was my other “mom” and I loved her. She returned my sentiments with a tender smile. Years later a fellow classmate would inform me that our beloved teacher had committed suicide. Confounded. How was it the tender souls, so needed in a weary world, always leave too soon?

As a child my badge of honor was to be adept at following commands and wearing a veneer of self-control. At school the focus became pleasing my teachers, completing assignments on time, all the while stealing M&M candies from their coat closet when everyone went to recess. Taking what was not mine as rewards for life accomplishments gone unnoticed. Those colorful candies allowed me to taste the sweetness of life so I wouldn’t forget, because my child mind was replete with “what if” scenarios. Such a heavy little brain, forecasting into the future how I would handle imagined or actual situations well beyond my grasp or control. And the plethora of self-judgment scenarios if I did the tasks wrong. Proving my worthiness became routine in hopes I could exist without being harmed. False programs that many decades later I am slowly learning to dismantle.

As the eldest child, to assure love for me would be forthcoming, I adopted the role of caregiver. Easing the suffering of another seemed the mightiest and most rewarding call to action I could imagine. In helping them, I was helping myself, or so the programming told me. Being female was an additional piece, as the cultural indoctrination led us to believe we are the primary nurturers and caregivers. It is a lie, for I have witnessed time and again the most compassionate acts of care, attention, and nurturing towards other humans and animals from my son and husband. Men are very capable of being tender, as much as woman are capable of being the “breadwinner” of the household. Roles are much more pliable than ever before, which should give us all a sense of relief. At last, we can each feel into who we really are and how we wish to evolve ourselves in this world.

So here I sit, my inner child and present adult, pondering where to go from here. SO many dreams to fulfill, art to make, hugs to give, photos to share, cards to send, trails to hike, faery houses to build, gardens to nurture, and inspirational naps calling me to explore nether worlds. Creativity levels are bubbling to the surface like never before. I’ve purposefully limited my work hours as a “caregiver” so I may have time to focus on me. Less monetary income requires living a simpler lifestyle, but the exchange is an increased income in the form of time to breathe, contemplate, explore, and flow with the Great Spirit’s desire to express through this little vehicle.

There is a lovely dance now between the child who adulted too soon, and the adult who wishes to re-member the child. This is my new career path, full of inspiration. I hope it will inspire you as well. Give yourself a ginormous hug. You’re doing amazing! 🎉❤️

🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉❤️

Daisy and child image:
Regina Chanté

Stock images:
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